#SaintMick of Christmas 2015

  We have a fun tradition here with our twin sons where instead of an Elf on the Shelf we task one of their big brother's WWE action figures to play the part.  The first year was The Sheik on the Shelf (Iron Sheik) followed by Roddy on the Potty (Roddy Piper) and this year we used the WWE resident Santa "Saint" Mick Foley.  The boys first and last thing they talked about from Thanksgiving to Christmas was what Mick was going to be up to.  I'm sitting here in December 26th already missing Christmas so I thought I'd gather most of the #SaintMick pics and post them together.

                                          Mick arrives on Thanksgiving

                                     Mick gets hustled at Santa Blackjack

                                          Tanking "Saint" Mick a bit too far

     

                                          Handsoming up the lads

                                          An atta boy for Sheamus on his title win

                                                 Never triple dog dare a hardcore legend

                                          Bribing Santa for good list considerations

                                         Saint Mick on St Nicholas Day

                                              Prince pretty?

                                           Trying to land a cameo in Frozen II

                                                 Pop Tart theft

                                          Shitter full?  Call Mick!

                                         Kamala didn't like something in Cheap Pops

                                         Kind of a sadistic trick even for Mankind

Theoretical vs Application of Cord Cutting: My Summer Without Direct TV

  Even the most sound of theories must pass the test of application and sometimes you must learn to live with the results. 

  It was April of this year when I decided to reevaluate how we allocate our money toward our static bills.  I had been for years paying Verizon $24 per month for telephone service just to support our internet use that was an additional $27 per month for a service that could not nearly keep up with the quickly increasing number of web enabled devices in our home.  I made the decision to drop both services and change over to Comcast Xfinity.  The total amount paid is nearly the same and I increased my wifi capacity more than five fold……a win!

  This success made me even more brazen as I looked at my Direct TV bill of $114 per month and asked myself if I truly value television to the tune of $1,368 per year.  That’s a no frills deal with zero subscriptions, though I was paying $36 per month for my Genie HD DVR system to three TVs.  I could afford the payment but I resented paying it in a way I could afford $9 for a McDonald’s burger but I won’t pay it.  That’s when I started reading up on the cord cutters and how much there is to be saved with streaming services…..and I wanted in.  The plan I came to was as follows:

WWE NETWORK & AMAZON PRIME (already paying)

WWE - $10 monthly = $120 annual

Amazon Prime = $100 annual

STREAMING OPTIONS  

SlingTV with bonus sports - $25 monthly = $300 annual

HuluPlus - $8 monthly = $96 annual

Netflix - $9 monthly = $108 annual

One time purchase – 1 Fire TV stick, 3 Fire TVs = $340        

DIRECT TV – 113.49 monthly = 1,361.88 annual

STREAMING – 42.00 monthly = 504.00 annual

TOTAL SAVINGS - $71.49 monthly = $857.88 annual

  Easy enough, right?  Saving $857.88 a year and I still get to see about 85% of what our family is accustomed to watching…..just not the same day or always in HD and I can’t record anything but for that kind of savings I was game.  Take away the creature comforts and you’ll realize you don’t need them.  Season finales had come and gone when I made the changeover so we had a Summer to test drive the idea.  I purchased three Amazon Fire TV boxes ($100/ea) for the living room, bedroom and my oldest son’s room and one Fire TV Stick ($40) for a playroom shared by all three of my boys age 9,4 & 4.  I am very pleased with the Amazon Fire TV products and continue to use them to run all of our streaming apps.  Point of caution….spend the extra money on the box vs. the stick as the performance quality is night and day.  All in all it sounds like my cost cutting plan was working out great.  My only early gripe (that I knew going in to things) was giving up the YES Network and all of my Yankee games.  I spent $20 for a season long MLB Radio subscription.  We then also added a $10/mo local channels subscription to our Comcast service so we could watch network shows when they aired in the fall and to watch our local news.  In total I had now spent $360 on additional equipment and subscription and an extra $10/mo to enjoy a portion of my previous TV entertainment…..roughly half of my initial anticipated annual savings.  Still, in the long run I was excited at the future savings as I settled into the streaming life. 

  Early on things were going along better than anticipated.  Between my Amazon Prime, Netflix and Hulu subscriptions my twin 4 year olds programming needs were exceeded and they are the toughest customers in the house.  It was also early on that the one (literal) glitch began to present itself…Sling.  Sling TV was the service that clinched my decision to move to streaming and ultimately it is the reason I am returning to a traditional TV service.  This service is a terrific concept that just isn’t ready for my business yet.  When it works, it’s great.  Picture quality is in perfect HD and the channels I got for $25 suited my needs just fine….when it worked.  This is a very glitchy service and the issue was not on my end as we run HBO.GO, Amazon Prime, WWE Network, Crackle, Netflix and Hulu with almost zero interruption.  When you’re marketing a live TV service, freezing picture, buffering and having to stare at a blank screen with a yellow spinning disc is a big issue.  We continued along with the service but as summer drew to a close and the fall programming began to return we immediately began to realize the value we had before vs. the economy plan we went for.

  My wife and I defer to the boys for programming up to their bed times and when we have that bit of quiet and can unwind with a show it’s actually a big deal for us.  We sat down to watch the season premiere of The Goldbergs last week and in the first scene of the show one of the twins started yelling down to us for potty help.  Happens all the time….only now there is no pause button….we aren’t recording the show to start watching after they settle in.  One of us (me) had to leave the room and miss the show right up to the first commercial break.  

  What my wife said next was the death blow to the cord cutting project…..”ya know, Blacklist and Walking Dead are back soon…..this is going to happen again”. 

  Is TV THAT big of a deal? No.  I’ll say this though….when you’ve been married a dozen years, you’ve been parenting for a decade, you never go anywhere or have any friends to hang out with, that hour or so to sit down with another adult, watch a show you both enjoy to help you unwind from your day is a pretty valuable experience and worth a few more bucks to enhance it.  When it’s all said and done regaining the ability to pause and record TV with a terabyte of storage to watch when you’re able, to get all my Yankees games back and as a perk get Sunday Ticket Max for the season and the premium channels for 3 months is well worth every penny of the special intro rate of a $62/mo bill for the first year.  Next October when that bill becomes $109 I will have to read this to remind myself that while I don’t like paying so much to watch TV, that’s not what I’m paying for.

  Cord cutting and cafeteria TV subscriptions are the future…..I’m just not there yet.

#FORG1V3 & LET DIE: The ballad of an A-Rod apologist

#FORG1V3 or not to forgive seems to be the decision causing the deepest divide I’ve seen among Yankee fans and the MLB landscape as well.  To the dismay of many, yes the ARod circus is coming back to town after a full calendar year of absolute quiet.  Let’s get caught up on what the man actually did or in many cases what he’s been accused of doing…..let’s just say we know he did most of this stuff even though no real legal proceeding have taken place and no physical evidence has been released to the public.  OK:  After signing the then richest contract in the history of baseball to play for the Texas Rangers, Alex began using PED’s to maintain his position as the game’s elite talent (though it was natural ability that earned him that contract in the first place).  Knowing full well that PED’s were an MLB wide pandemic at that time, the man was running with the crowd.  Superstars and marginal players alike were looking for that “edge” and they all made a poor decision to do so and MLB made a worse decision turning a blind eye to the obvious.  “Wow, 170lb Brady Anderson has been averaging 14 HR and about 58RBI per season over his first 5 full seasons and he just went 50/110 and is on the cover of Muscle & Fitness…..good for him!  I’m not at all suspicious.”  For those keeping score Anderson slashed 17.4/60 for his final five full seasons.  Yet this was the mentality of the people tasked to enforce the integrity of the game.  When marginal players began producing elite numbers in a consequence free environment, what were the elite to do?  Can’t beat em, join em…….or perish.  Bonds, Sosa, McGuire, Clemens, Palmero…..I’m not saying you should have done what you did, BUT I UNDERSTAND! 

  ARod seemed to have continued on this path fully enabled in an environment that looked the other way for years until the unmasking of the steroid era.  Lucky for the aforementioned Bonds, Sosa, McGuire, Clemens and Palmero they were at the end of their careers when the proverbial fecal matter was introduced to the fan.  Alex was still in the prime of his career and regarded as one of the top players in the game…..the active face of the PED era, the era that essentially pulled baseball back to life from the 1994 strike, the era that MADE Alan H. Selig and was now a smear on the history of baseball, the era that now had a face.  ARod.  Aloof and awkward, misunderstood and disliked by many, wealthy and disconnected and he never did himself any favors along the way but let’s face facts, he was the perfect scapegoat to attract the rage of the under informed masses and the new torch and pitchfork community of social media.  So we’re mad at ARod for making trouble for MLB (mostly orchestrated by vampire lawyers)  in the wake of all this nonsense?  I’m not saying he should have done what he did, BUT I UNDERSTAND!

  So in summary, in the simplest terms:   A guy is great at his job.  He gets a big promotion and a corner office.  Everyone else at the office starts putting up massive numbers using dishonest methods but the bosses aren’t rocking the boat because profits and revenue is booming.  He does wrong and joins in and prospers with the entire group.  The company gets audited and the dishonest practices are uncovered.  Senior staff takes early retirement, cooperate and owners claim they had no idea and the guy is now out on his ass.  Only in that scenario our guy can pay a fine or do a little time and go back to work somewhere else.  Alex is expected to do his time for life.  I’m not saying he should have done what he did, BUT I UNDERSTAND! 

  Now I have to examine all of the rage and uproar over all of this, the likes of which I haven’t seen since Kony (‘member him?).   We know what Alex did and we know what Alex was accused of so no need to rehash the above paragraphs.  Let’s look at the “victims” of Alex’s “crimes against the game”. 

THE FANS AND THE KIDS:  PLEASE!  I have three sons and I raise them to root for athletes but not put their stock in them.  If you expect every athlete that puts up stats to be Derek Jeter off the field, you are setting yourself up for a major disappointment.  Imagine if there was Twitter and media coverage like today in the day of Cobb, Ruth or Mantle!  Kids should cheer for athletes on the field and emulate their parents’ example.  Nobody ever gets into sports to raise my kids for me nor would I expect them to. now, if you’re over 16 and ARod let you down, you need a grip on reality plain and simple.  I bought an Autographed 16x20 of ARod for like $400…..it’s worth $3 now.  That’s on me, I goofed up.  I’m not petitioning ARod on Twitter for the $397 I’m out now.  He owes me nothing.

THE STEINBRENNER FAMILY & YANKEES ORGANIZATION:  They aint starving….he didn’t “steal their money”.  He made their money back in merchandise and ticket sales and the team was insured for his salary while he was suspended.

THE GAME OF BASEBALL:  With a Hall of Fame full of wife beaters, racists, drug abusers, gamblers and embezzlers who's not to say it’s Alex who is in bad company.

The biggest victim of Alex’s alleged crimes is Alex himself.  He was a first ballot Hall of Fame talent, he was a living legend before this all came down.  Now he’s lost over $25,000,000 in salary and more in endorsements as no company will ever touch him again.  He’d have made an amazing baseball analyst some day, I’d imagine that ship has all but sailed.  His name is forever a cautionary tale and a punch line because of his action.  Tell me who ARod has hurt more than himself? 

  The rage itself is just comical to me….everyone wants their pound of flesh from Alex for something he did to us all.  I have no idea what but he somehow robbed us all of our innocence and we’ll never be the same and he’s just soooooooooooooooo unlikable.  HE LIED TO US!  He has no morality and someone in his position has to be an idiot to lie and expect not to be caught…..the nerve of this man!!!  We sure do have high expectations of people don’t we?   It’s certainly not like an active US president ever had an extramarital affair and then went on national television (I’m talking every channel, you have to watch) and say “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”.  Only to get caught in the lie and have to go back on TV and say he had lied to every registered voter in America.  Wait, that happened???  Oh, it was just Clinton….we like Willy, let’s give him a library, let him keep his job and revere the man for life.  Sure, it’s the job of every politician to be a scandalous liar anyway…..I suppose that’s what we expect more of our athletes.  Athlete to politician is an unfair comparison.  It’s not like ARod could hold a candle the morally upstanding citizens of the NFL!  Certainly guys like Ray Rice or Adrian Peterson deserve our forgiveness before Arod.  I mean all we have here is a four year old being beaten black and blue by a tree branch and a woman getting knocked cold in an elevator and having her lifeless body dragged into a hall way.  Nothing compared to vile act that is taking a pill that makes you stronger to play a game better and then trying not to get caught….THAT is unforgivable!  Okay, I suppose we can’t compare a baseball player to the guys who play the inherently violent game of football, certainly the fraternity of baseball could never have excused such terrible behavior in the past.  It’s not like there is a recent group of HOF’ers and respected players that were exposed in a cocaine ring in the 1980’s…..it’s not like an active manager that was caught gambling on the sport and given a lifetime ban has widespread support to be placed in the Hall of Fame, it’s not like an owner ever paid a Mafioso to get dirt on one of his players and then go on to become a loveable grandpa figure, could you imagine if the best player in the sport (now a Hall of Famer) ever ran 12 rows into the stands to knock now on stomp on (with metal spikes) a fan who happened to have no hands and when he was told this he relied “I don’t care if he aint go no feet either.”  Wait…..all that happened too?  Damn…..I suppose haunting a guy who did what Alex (we’re pretty sure) did seems kind of silly by comparison maybe??  If that's not enough, do me a favor and pull up your own resume.....is that all true to the letter or is there a little smear here and there that gave you a bump to land your current position?  Let's call it a little performance enhancer to help your odds......

  The label for fans like me is “ARod apologist”.  We’re the ones who are wrong because we can put our cyber-torch and virtual pitchforks down for a second and gain a certain level of perspective and realize how silly and pointless it is to put so much effort into disliking someone.  Honestly, he’s served his suspension, he’s out $25M+ and he is owed the rest of the money on his contract anyhow….he might as well have to take the field and try to earn some of it.  If I’m Hal Steinbrenner I almost welcome this circus.  The Yankees are aging, underperforming, overpriced and now that Jeter is gone….faceless.  Tickets need to be sold and if all people come out to do is take sides in the ARod war, it’s a means to an end.  He has a $200M payroll and a mortgage on a $2.5B stadium that’s five years old.  This is a transition period in the Bronx and if this is a distraction from a couple of 81-81 seasons, so be it.  If Alex can help the team by playing well and maybe winning 92 and getting a wild card bid…..even better!  As a Yankee fan I’m hoping for the latter and as a Yankee fan I’ll be cheering for anyone who suits up to take the field to help my team win.  If the worst he did is have frosted tips, never say the right thing or be one of the hundreds and hundreds of players who got caught up in a forgettable era, I can rise above my celebrity or wealth envy, I can move past that he’s a bit of an unlikeable diva at times and I can simply be a baseball fan, enjoy the game, root for my Yankees and above all……#FORG1V3

#FROG1V3™ - Bald Vinny……much love brother!

The human element....and other stupid things

  MLB instant replay made it's debut this season and there is a massive divide between the fans who absolutely hate it and the fans who accept it as a necessary part of the game that has come long past its time.  I had some degree a skepticism on the idea at first, I wanted to see how the reviews fell into the flow of the game but after a season of watching, I'm all in.  Get the calls right!  If replay existed in the past Armando Galarraga would have his perfect game,  Joe Mauer's foul ball in the '09 ALDS in the 11th would have been fair, 1991 Ron Gant isn't call out at first in Game 2 after being wrestled off the bag, would any of us know Jeffery Maier?  Would Don Denkinger be known for something other than his call in Game 6 of the '85 Series?  Just a handful of moments of baseball history where the "human element" rewrote baseball history with incorrect events that we live with to this very day as "facts".  Any argument made against replay can never live up to the undeniable fact that it is very necessary to the integrity of the sport.

  Many of the arguments against replay that I have been reading all seem to boil down to two things....either this "human element" we all seem to love so much or how long games are taking or the pause in game flow because of the replay.  Let's realistically look at each point, eh?  The "human element".....I just don't get the human element.  When we have the human element in our lives it results in us getting cheese when we didn't ask for it, receiving incorrect change and arguing with a cashier or having a dented front bumper because some idiot didn't apply his parking break.  The human element  essentially boils down the charm of having umpires make incorrect calls.....do you hear yourselves?  How is that good?  Do you honestly think the umpires enjoy having a Buckner like stigma follow their career because their "human element" cost a guy a perfect game or a team a World Series game?  Instant replay maintains the human element but also affords a safety net for when it fails because to err is human but the video never lies.  Now let's talk about how MLB baseball, in attempting to make the right calls has so immensely inconvenienced your life with a few extra minutes of baseball.  Let's go pure apples to apples here....video review vs. what managers used to do.  Sure it had it's charm and the crowds loved it but what did Bobby Cox and Billy Martin ever actually accomplish by running out on the field, screaming themselves blue in the face as the jumbo screen clearly showed the umpire blow a call as the crowd went bananas.  When it was all said and done, we wasted 4 minutes of game time, your bench coach is now the manager and the officials were powerless to change the incorrect call anyway.  How is this a good use of time again?  If it takes 5 minutes to review it and your manager doesn't get tossed, the call gets right and the ump takes a mia culpa for his "human element" acting up again, I fail to see the issue?  Does looking at the tape in NY while the lead umpire wears a headset and awaits word really interrupt more that a manager with his cap backwards, kicking dirt and making a fool of himself in front of 40,000 people and a national TV audience?  Those questions are pretty much rhetorical because there is only one sane answer.  

  I think what bugs me most is "the games are too long" complaint.  If it's that painful to watch three hours and nine minutes of baseball as opposed to the three hours and three minutes you so happily sat through last year, watch something else.   This isn't new...the game didn't go from 2:23 to 3:09 from 2013 to 2014.  No!  We added TV breaks, pregame shows, mid inning pitching changes, defensive shifting, arguing managers, mound visits by the pitching coach, stepping out of the box to make sure your cup fits "just so", checking the runner at 1st 9x in an at bat, bench clearing brawls and a hundred other things that adds a minute here and a minute there that bring much less value to the game as instant replay and getting calls correct.

Seriously, if you like baseball but your attention span won't accommodate the game to be played in a way that allows for correct calls, I have your solution.  Buy an XBox, get MLB the Show, plug in the players and stats and simulate a season.  You should be able to knock out Spring Training, Regular Season and Playoffs in a single afternoon.  That way the sport won't be wasting any more of you precious time with it's efforts to give the fans a more genuine and accurate product that fits with 21st century technology.  While you're at it, don't get pissed at the kid at Gamestop who gave you change of a twenty for that MLB the Show when you paid with a hundred.....it's the human element ; ) 

12,949 days wasn't enough yet it was perfect

I lost my father on September 1^st.  Having him for 12,949 days was just not enough, frankly a million days wouldn’t have but I don’t feel cheated in the least.  Over thirty-five years there is nothing a father and son could have done that I missed out on.  His name was my first word, we toasted beers, we watched games on TV and listened to games on the radio before everything was televised.  He coached my little league team and watch as I coached my oldest son in tee ball.  We made trips to Yankee Stadium,  we smoked cigars when he retired.  He was front row at my weeding and my birth as well as the birth of my three boys.   I grew up in his home and I am now raising my sons in the same home.  He’s been my co-worker and my neighbor.  Above all, there was barely a day I didn't have (and appreciate) the pleasure of either seeing or at least speaking to the man who I still want to grow up to be just like.  It certainly isn’t the number of years you’re given with the most important people in your life but what you do with those years and that you realize who those important people are before they've left you.  Keeping that in mind, I believe this is why I have been smiling much more than crying over these past few days.  35+ years and not a sentence uttered in regret, not a sentiment left unsaid and not an experience unexperienced. 

  As life went on, I only looked up to and admired the man more.  Certainly as a boy you look at your father like a superhero, not seeing a single flaw in the man.  As I grew up and had a family of my own I realized this perception of flawlessness was more real than ever.   There are certainly times as a father I have doubts in my abilities to provide, understand, parent, discipline, etc…  I suppose that’s only natural.  Especially during a period of time I spent as a stay home parent, I felt a major divide between the standard of fathering I wanted to provide my children and what I was actually delivering.  Then there was a day I took my boys to my front porch where my father was sitting just next door on his porch and I flashed back to my youth when I would sit on that very porch with my dad….my grandfather on the porch my father now occupied and everything fell in place for me.  I can’t tell you what I received for Christmas when I was 6 or 10 or 16 but I can name the menu of food served at my grandparent’s home every Christmas Eve.  I can’t tell you the brand name of the spikes or gloves I wore in little league but I remember my dad taking me out to practice pop ups, just the two of us.  So many of these examples where what he gave me didn’t matter in the least, what I hold on to is the warmth, patients and understanding with which he gave to me.  Some of the best memories of my life took place in front of our family homes with my brothers, baby sister who I love best of all, my mom and dad, my grandparents and extended family.  None of it cost a dime; we weren't doing anything terribly exciting, just enjoying each other’s company but I cherish and remember it so vividly.  I realize I have been blessed with an amazing opportunity to give my sons these exact same gifts.  The gifts my father game to me that didn’t cost a thing because they are too valuable to have a price attached.  My only chance to pay him back is to do for my sons as he did for us and as a father, all I can ask in return from them is the same. 

  I am going to miss my dad every day for as long as I live, I loved him very much.  Yet I will do so with a smile and full heart knowing he gave me everything I will ever need to be a good man, husband and father.  I will never hold a candle to the bar he set but if I give it my best effort I know he’ll look on me with the same pride and love he showed me in life.  What more could a person want?  

FOUR YEARS OF FUSSBALL: An American love story

  "Hockey on grass without the action or physicality".  June of 2010, this was my blanket assessment of the game of soccer (as we all it in the States).  It's a sentiment many of us have of the game that has just never been able to break into the realm of NFL, MLB, NBA or NHL here in America.  It was with the cynical attitude that I decided to look in on the 2010 South Africa games to see what all the fuss was about.  I chose Germany as my team (not yet realizing their elite standing in the world game) because I speak a bit of German, have ancestral ties and thought it would be a bit cliche to jump on team USA.  I watched the qualifying games with a tempered interest, cheered for goals and got into things a bit.  I liked that there were no commercials or breaks and that the 90 minutes went by quickly.  I got pretty worked up for the Germany/England match as I know a few fans of England and the English Premiere League who laid some smack taking on this newbie fan. A 4-1 German win provided me with a fun afternoon of television and a chance to engage some other fans for the first time.  Then July 4th weekend happened:

  I made the 4hr drive west to Pittsburgh to spend the weekend with some friends who lived outside of the city.  I had mentioned to them how into this whole World Cup thing I was getting and they mentioned the local Hoffbrauhaus hosted watch parties and that they'd be showing the Germany/Argentina quarter final while I was there.  I was dying to hit the Hoffbrauhaus anyway so this was two birds and one stone.  Little did I know, this was they day I was going to become a fussball fan.  I strolled in wearing my Miroslav Klose jersey to find a sea of jerseys, flags and atmosphere.  Strangers sitting together at huge tables sharing food, bier and pre match strategy.  Over the course of watching a 4-1 German victory and downing four liters of German bier, I watched the people and decided I want in on this!  I watched them as much as I watched the game....they understood the nuisances of the game and reacted in ways you'd only see during a college football rivalry game or an NHL or MLB game 7.  I was like a kid watching that game, cheering, but I wasn't always sure why, booing, but I wasn't sure why.....but I was having a blast.  I was hugging and drinking with complete strangers, screaming in German and joining in on soccer chants.

  It was after the 2010 World Cup and 3rd place finish that I decided I hadn't had enough.  There were a few players that I had attached myself to (Mueller, Schweinsteiger, Lahm) so I decided to look up the Bundesliga to see who some of these guys played for.  As luck would have it, they're all Bayern Munich guys!  I discovered a way to stream the games from Germany, it's perfect.....they play at 9:30am est on Saturday mornings.  Games are over before college football starts and the feeds are in German so I can practice listening to the language....a win, win, win. Over the last four seasons I've watched as many Bayern matches as possible.  I've watched them under achieve in my first season as a fan, I watched them lose a Champions League final on penalties to Chelsea and watched them take the treble in 2013.  I'm very partial to the Bundesliga, getting to know the players and teams, the German style of play and it's led me to be an avid fan of the National German team.  I'd have to say I'm hooked and I'm a fan for life!

  I had to write this piece today.....Germany plays Brazil in the 2014 semi final at 4pm and I want to make sure I'm still in a good frame of mind before writing.  In spite of Silva and Neymar not being on the pitch, I subscribe to the idea that "nobody will beat Brazil in Brazil until someone beats Brazil in Brazil".  Not saying it won't happen today but these guys seem to play with a horseshoe up their asses in front of their home country, so I'll be watching with tempered expectations and the hopes my boys can come out and shock the hosts.  After a 3rd place finish in '10, I am geared up to raise the trophy for the first time in 24 years.  Anything less will have me in a bad mood for a while.  I needed this piece to be written from the happiest place possible and that's where I am writing from.  Six and a half hours till match time, cold bier and food on the ready and a head full of anticipation.  So until then, as we stay in the States: Ich glaube, wir werden heute gewinnen!   

......And just in case you didn't see the game, Germany won 7-1 and Klose set the all time goals scored record in the World Cup.  

15 Months a Stay Home Dad: Father's Day

   This will be my 9th Father's Day and this past year has given me some real perspective on what the full panorama of fatherhood is all about.  This was the year that made me reshape my role as a parent and take a look at what it really is to be a successful father.  Fifteen months ago I was put in the position (and chose to remain) of the full time stay at home dad.

  There seem to be stages of acceptance men go through when we take on this massive change of lifestyle.  March of '13 I found myself "restructured" out of a high stress position and frankly my initial emotions were that of relief.  I saw it as freedom from a position I had grown to resent and an opportunity to connect more with my wife and three small boys.  We played the Mr. Mom scenario from the movie and my wife struck first, landing a fantastic position that could take care of our needs just as well as my previous job.  Never did that stereotypical "male pride" kick in, in fact I was very happy for her.  She is educated and capable in her field and she sacrificed career for over seven years that included two pregnancies and three births.  I was still decompressing and gladly took on the role of the full time parent.

  At some point into this process, it seems inevitable that guys begin to question their place in the family, their ability to live up to what a father is supposed to be, to have to rely on someone other than yourself to provide.  There is a lot of identity to let go of and I notice a lot of men develop a pretty big chip on their shoulder about it.....all the self doubt begins to project outward.  I've read all of those "things to never say to a stay home dad" lists and I was right there with them.  Hypersensitive to any observation, honest misconception or even paranoid feelings invented in our own minds.  Granted, we are a misunderstood minority but it seems many of us hit a stage where we feel wrongfully persecuted and judged and those feeling can become very counter productive and damaging.  For me, those feelings hit home in the late Autumn months and what could be worse for a dad than the impending Christmas season without the financial ability to come through huge for his children?  If you ever want to feel inept as a provider and traditional father, imagine a Christmas with no income.  A cold, snowy Northeast Winter, twin two year olds cooped up in the house, nobody around to talk to, sunsets before 5pm, months of looking at gray and dark from your window.  Seasonal depression is real and those are the eggs, milk and sugar of the recipe.  From mid-December, I began dealing with frequent anxiety attacks and depression that I was diagnosed as having toward the end of the Winter.  I was pulling my weight with the boys and keeping up the house but I had 110% lost myself.

  Don't fret, it gets happier here : )  After seeing my doctor & being prescribed an antidepressant that had a horrible effect on me, I decided to go after the issue on my own and reach out to some people in my inner circle.  I deleted all social media accounts and shrunk my circle to a hands on group that I've known most of my life.  It was just one random talk with a friend, that started innocent enough that gave me my moment of clarity.  He wasn't a stay home dad but he is a father, he gets the complexities of balancing family, marriage and career and how to balance that against maintaining an identity of who you are as an individual.  He's a few years older than I and recalled an eerily similar set of health issues he had at a similar stage of his own life.  I knew I wasn't the only one to go through this but it was what I needed to hear, that someone I knew and trusted has a similar set of circumstance and found his way through to the other side.  I've since discovered guided meditation, I'm taking those breaks my wife always offered me, I'm taking a chamomile supplement and my anxiety has very much come under control.  I've also come to embrace my new role in my household and notice the tangible effects I have.

  Fellas, your value to your family is not your paycheck!!!  The sooner this is understood the sooner you can learn to thrive in your role....and even if you are a breadwinner, don't think your value ends at your paycheck.  I looked back and saw the time I spent in the Summer with my oldest son, preparing him for second grade.  We spent an hour every weekday, introducing him to what he'd see in his upcoming year.  During his school year, I worked with him every night and when the year came to a close, he was a high honors student with high A's in every graded class and had "outstanding" in all behavioral based areas of his report card.  I look at my twin sons and see just how far they have developed over this past year.  Two totally different individuals that develop at their own pace and have really come into their own.....and I was there for all of it.  All of these things have tangible value and didn't cost a penny.....it was simply the time that my new role in the family allowed to spend with them.  My sons are 8, 3 & 3, they could care less how my 401-k is looking or what kind of interest rate I have on my auto loan, in a few years' time they will never remember what they got for Christmas in a given year.  What they know and what they'll REMEMBER is the time their father invests in them.  Also, If you live in the traditional "husband wife" set up of the breadwinner and homemaker and you have the chance to reverse roles, DO IT.  It's been an absolute blessing to our marriage.  Spending seven years in a set role, it's only natural take your partners' role for granted and not appreciate their stress and demands.  Walking a year in the other's role has made us more of a team with a higher level of compassion for each other than at any other point in our lives.  This isn't the "week of vacation" appreciation of seeing what it's like around the house all day.....that has an endpoint and plans are made over that time.  This has to be a long term deal, a real role swap.  It's tough at first but the long term benefit is amazing.

  As I started, this is my ninth Father's Day as a father.  I have three sons and I thought I was getting to be an old pro at this dad stuff until my script was flipped and I discovered just how much better it can get.  I think I'll appreciate this Father's Day a bit more after these last 15 months.  The full scope of being a dad is great when you don't limit yourself to "mom roles" and "dad roles" just be a parent and enjoy the ride.  Try not to take offense to everyone and everything they say if you're a stay homer...nobody is trying to put you down and even of they are, they ought to be jealous of the rare gift you have in your life.  Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there!

....a bit of a ps, my days of being 100% stay home may be coming to an end.  I'm in the early stages of accepting a part time position doing job placement and career skills with individuals with physical and mental disabilities.  Not being in a position where I "have to" go out and find work has allowed me to spot something I want to do and pursue it.  We'll see how it plays out but my #1 job is always "dad".